She wrote to Dear Abby: At last, I’m independent. How do I avoid going wild?
Dear Abby gets it: your strict upbringing deprived you of learning experiences when you were younger. But there’s hope for this young lady. Now that she’s free, she’s buying her own clothes without being perpetually at war with a parent about them. And she’s thinking about sex outside of marriage.
Dear Ms. Wondering in Missouri: The most important job of most people is to be a parent. Please don’t fail the same way your parents did in bringing you up. If you choose to have children, make sure they have the learning experiences, while you’re still around, that help them to be adults in charge of their own welfare once they’ve left the nest. You need to get those experiences – and make some mistakes on the way – because it’s critical in teaching your own kids.
Don’t look to the church for counseling. They’ll do their best to put you back in the niche where you’ve already spent most of your life. And then get you safely married to a man who will run your life for you.
Psychological counseling is a fast and safe way to get someone to discuss these things with who has the experience you don’t, and the training to help you. Get it. But ultimately you need peers, of your own age and gender, who are successfully managing their lives while experiencing them fully. Join clubs, have a hobby, go for group hikes, and in general do things that get you around people. Not the church, sorry. It’s not the influence you need right now. Watch your friends, and remember that there can be as many bad examples as good ones.
Live your life to the fullest! Allow yourself to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. And some day, pass that on.