Nervous writes Dear Amy: My fiancé and I have been together for four years. We planned and then re-planned our wedding because of the pandemic. … We have decided to get married quickly and quietly, canceling the celebration. … We are going to disappoint a lot of people.
Anyone who really cares about you will be happier that you are married, than they are bummed out that they couldn’t see the ceremony and go to a big party.
And while many people would have enjoyed the party, you might be surprised how many – especially the older folks – are uncomfortable with the travel and being at a wedding and reception.
Promptly after the ceremony, send all of the people on your ex-guest-list cards that say something like: We’ve Eloped! We tried to get you all together, but COVID interfered, and we realized that after 4 years together, being married was more important than getting married in front of everyone and having a big party. We hope to see you all in better times. Gifts optional – do what you wish.
Wait a week for everyone to get that. Then include those people in your life, online or with letters and photos.